Small Price.

Allow me to describe a comedy in the Shakespearean definition of the word.

I saw someone walked over by half the world (at least the world that acknowledged her existence). I attempted to help, and for once she stands up for herself. Is it success or failure that the only person she stood up to was me?

Such is the sad irony of this realm in the cruelty of these end times.

Days like this I lament the loss of my stone fortress. Yet the Great Commandment precludes the option of resurrecting those walls. Without love, I cannot hope to fulfil the Great Commission. In the end, I will win souls even if each day brings new hurt and injury.

Someone said that no man is an island, that I could turn to others for support in times of need. Can I really? I would not wish on my worst enemy, much less my friends some of my troubles. I know I'm no superman; but between God and myself, there's enough strength to bear the weight of a world on these shoulders.

Maybe I'll bleed to death on the way, but I'm not giving up.

The Inexplicable.

I tried going to the park for prayer this morning. Guess what I sang?

Jesus Loves the Little Children.

Jesus loves the little children,
All the children of the world.
Red and yellow, black and white;
All are precious in His sight.
Jesus loves the little children of the world.

No kidding. Couldn't tell you why I did that really, but it was fun.

To anyone reading: Jesus loves you too.

P.U.S.H.

I understand. You can even hate me if you must.

Though I must warm you that I'm not giving up on you. Somehow I'll deal with the conflict of interest issues, as difficult as that may be.

I'll because of a you in the future, not because of an us in the past.

I'm not sure you understand, but that's ok.

Foot Through the Door.

Yes, the future isn't set in stone. That means the status quo will change, as will you. Yet, you insist on limiting yourself - returning to that comfortable place in time that truthfully doesn't exist anymore.

I doubt I have to challenge you to hope for something better down the road. But I'm pretty sure you can't get there by looking inwards and backwards.

What you were may contribute to what you are, but is no indicator of who you might become. Living in the past bound by the perceptions and responses of family or friends is one of the most enduring and limiting constraints. I ought to know; I've was there for so long.

Have faith, not fear; if only in yourself for a start. That's the first step to breaking out of your bubble. At first you may find yourself in a No Man's Land of confusion and insecurity, but facing it instead of running back means you expand rather than lose your comfort zone.

Maybe someday you'll think about it. I'm still praying. So don't fight your battles alone.

Would you believe me would you listen if i told you that
There is a love that makes a way, it'll never hold you back
So wont you break wont you break free
Get up and dance in His love
So wont you break wont you break free
Get up and dance in His love

Hillsong United - Break Free

Prayer.

I bind fear, I bind confusion. I speak peace and clarity into your life; you will not be defeated by your circumstances. I claim strength and wisdom; not to merely overcome adversity, but to shine through.

In the name of Jesus. So be it.

Maybe you don't have that trust yet, but for now just believe that this prayer is going to work for you.

With love from someone who tries to be a good friend.

An Intercession.

It tears me apart. I regret straying down a dangerous road, yet I know that in doing so I have been blessed with one of the best relationships I have had in my life so far. I regret that it's over, though I know I'm on back on track to where I should have been before.

I know it's far out of your comfort zone and the things you've been taught all your life. Even then, I believe that you have to find the truth for yourself; and sometimes that involves a journey out into an unknown world. I made that trip, and found love, though not one I could spread beyond myself. I could feel myself becoming selfish and possessive.

I'm not asking for enthusiasm to come. I'm just hoping that you keep an open mind to receive what you can; and I believe that you'll find a salve for your hurts there. The one who heals may be powerful, but He respects your wishes. So if you come to where He is having closed your heart off, He can do little for you.

How do I make this any better? The only way I know how right now is to pray. Every single morning of the last week I began with a prayer for you. Everytime I see the Batmobile, the chibi gundams, the spudtrooper and the plushie mushrooms I just feel this heaviness and the need to show you the best way I know to ease pain.

These tears are shed for you.

Edge of the Shadow.

I feel like I've been pushed into the deep end, where my own strength won't keep me afloat very long. I've had to depend on God, and maybe that's where the growth comes in. For the first time I see a spark of hope that I might have a fighting chance against the tangled mass that is my school, home and relationships.

After all these years, experiencing such contagious passion among the youth leaders is somewhat alien. Even then it is inspiring and exciting to read a desire to improve and grow for the sake of bringing about the same in others.

Don't mistake me; I still feel the separation acutely, and I know it is as bad or even worse for you. I wish I could just hold you and ease the pain, but you know better than I do the dangers of that. That is why I need to hold on to the belief that our separation is only temporary.

You already know what I feel would be the fastest and best way, yet I fear that the first step will be the most difficult. It all hinges on an openness to see what God has for you and a willingness to experience His ability to meet needs. Yet I cannot and will not force anything on you in a journey this personal.

Pray for breakthrough.